As I was cleaning the house I was confroted with a fact that I have a problem. One that was not likely noticed by others around me, but a problem never less. Over time my reason for doing what I do, and that is keep a house, has changed, and not for the postive.
In days past each day my goal was to make my home a better place for my family. Hot meals, clean clothes, and making sure the house was a place my dh wanted to be afterwork. The reason behind my work and that of the kids was to make a home for us. It wasn't perfect, but we worked at it.
Then it changed, I don't really think it was a sudden change, but one that happend slowly. I no longer had the kids clean up before dad would get home, there was no longer kids waiting each day to hug daddy at the door. Yes dinner was still on the table most days, but the meal time changed it was no longer a time to talk and visit, but how fast can we eat and go.
My reasons for cleaning were not to make our home a place for us, but because the speech teacher is coming, or someone else is coming. I cleaned for guests, but not my own family and that is a problem. And since I was doing this the kids also picked up on this and began treating our home the same.
So now that I have found the problem, and that it is a heart issue of placing guests before family the question is how do I fix it. How do I once agian place my family first, how to I change the reason I clean to "this is something dh would like or the kids would like" from " someone is coming time to pick up".
This is something I need to think some more on, off to go pick up the house before dh gets home tonight.
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